It is the kind of night where I would blog. I am alone, over pondering what life is all about, and searching for meaning. I start off of course on facebook, and I start reminiscing about "the good ol' days", Undergrad and such-- I kick myself off and try to fall asleep but I can't. It is too quiet here. To think I use to stay in a building where over 200 people my own age lived there. I had so much fun... no wonder being alone at night seems so different.
Like I said tonight is the kind of night I would blog, but I don't have anything to say. I have no awe-inspiring words from the Lord, I have no underlying insecurity to explore-- it's just me, not being able to sleep. I try to worship a little bit, do some prayer, back on facebook, and I get to thinking how much I care about the past. Always have, I won't even reference all my posts that have talked about me missing the past.. let's say it's more like the whole blog-- well except for when I knew I was going to Mercy, then I was always looking forward.
Point being, since High-School, I have always been a fan of the past. Junior year I wanted to be a Sophomore, Senior year I wanted to be a Junior again, Freshman year of Undergrad I wanted to be a Senior of High-School again... but now in Graduate school I am not sure I want "to be" any particular time. I cherish it all sure, but most of me really is looking forward to having a full time job in May and starting my own life.
More so than that though, if I could go back- I am not sure where I would go back to. I am over the high-school thing and Undergrad is too much, I flip through old memories and can't settle on just one I would like to relive. So many amazing memories, uncountable inside jokes, ridiculous amount of money wasted on junk food and some heal-your-soul-up moments.
I know before I met God I said the best moment of my life was my entrance to the Junior year play, I was the Wicked Witch and I came screeching out, scared all the kids away, and had the spotlight all to myself... what a great feeling to know you are the source of entertainment, to recreate a character your own way. But to go back to that no way...
Thursday night Tag's as an 18 year old also used to be my jam. I lived for those retro nights. Into college I became a coffeeshop girl, I'd spend hours figuring myself and my friends out over a drink that always consisted of more whip cream than anything, but to have to go through that pain of figuring myself out again... no thanks.
So I went back to facebook and I flipped through my photos and whatever photo made my heart melt I uploaded on here. This is just a flash of where I might travel back to. Lord knows facebook does not have all the answers and was not even around for a lot of good times in my life. But I hope you enjoy a piece of my past!
What would it be if you could relive a moment. I could see a lot of people talking about their child being born, perhaps their first encounter with the Lord, or their wedding day-- but I am thinking less serious than that. A time in your life where bliss was all you knew at least that's how you remember it... think about it then re-blog this if you wish!