Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lost in Translation

Lessons learned thus far from being home:
  • You can cry a lot of tears behind rosy sunglasses, without anyone noticing.
  • Friends are the ones who can look past your frown and remember how great your usual smile is and won't stop making you laugh until your smile is back.
  • Being in love is a wonderful thing.
  • Sometimes the best thing to do is just move on.
  • God is bigger then our plans.
I never thought it would be tough coming home. I knew I would miss Nashville and I had grown a lot there but I feel totallly lost in translation. It's not that I am craving to be back south, actually I am not desiring to be anywhere. Nothing feels right. And my friends all swear it is for the best and something better is on it's way and perhaps they are right. But wow, my heart is aching for rest. There is no peace within this soul... something is not right, something is stirring- somethings about to change.  

I don't plan on going to campus much- like I thought I would. There is nothing there for me now. I don't feel the blessing, I don't feel the grace. Sure, I love the people but God's saying it's time to move on and my heart has already done so.
But where did it go?
What passion is burning for?
What is the next great adventure I will embark?
What will begin to shape my life for the next year?
Will it be my internship? 
Will it be the Roberts Wesleyan campus?
Will it be something, will it be anything?

What if it is time to just focus on God. To rediscover love. To get healed up? Would I be okay with that? Can I sit still for another 4 months? 
What if it is time to begin, like :::really::: begin. What if my ministry life is right around the corner? What if something crazyyy is about to happen?

Either way my future looks and FEELS like a big question mark right now and although I am so so so grateful for my friends, faith and family--- I am lost in translation.

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