Today a man I don't know looked me right in the eyes and said, "you'll know when he is the one". I welled up with tears, of course that's what every girl wants to hear but... I needed to hear it. I am thankful he was willing to speak what God told him.
September this year, although full of apple cider and knit scarfs I am sure, will be yet again a September I will feel my heart break. It will be a time when the only one around who understands my heart is the God who created it. I know, I already know There will be days where I will run and hide from the world. Just to breathe. And to cry. To release all that it is I feel.
I am aching for routine. I need the distraction. I need the forward motion. I want God in every aspect of my life. I don't want to hide anymore. I want Him to save me. September will bring healing, I am sure of it.
Every fall brings me into a new time of being more of the woman God calls me to. I has a bad habit of living how I want to in the summer and crawling back to Jesus in the fall. He accepts me, of course, but is my worship genuine when I don't obey?
"If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands." John 14: 15
"Whoever says, I know Him [I perceive, recognize, understand, and am acquainted with Him] but fails to keep and obey His commandments (teachings) is a liar, and the Truth [of the Gospel] is not in him."
1 John 2: 4
Alas I hold true to what my heart is sure of "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
September. Repentance. A turning back to the Lord. A renewing. That's what my hope is. I'm not worried about who my husband is, I just want to stand firm in knowing who he isn't.