Friday, January 29, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sometimes I write because I feel like I have made a mistake others could learn from.
Sometimes I write because well hey- I feel like I have something important to say.
Sometimes I write to update my friends on where my recent travels have taken me.
Sometimes I write to update my friends on where my love affair with my Lord and Savoir has taken me.
But this time I am writing for just me. This time I am writing to let the cries of my heart set free. This time I am writing to reconnect with the one I love.
Church is great here. I mean for someone who loves the freshness and boldness of God and his followers it is so great. The spirit is really moving here. It's rather large. Although by the size of it, you couldn't tell over 800 Nashvillians pack in for one service. It is an old elementary auditorium, so we are not talking big-ole-fancy-football-stadiums-big, but it's big. I feel so alive with their [[hourandahalf]] worship!! But the down times left me so... empty, so alone. This morning was the third time I attended this church since my arrival last Sunday and how appropriate I only know three people there. Even for an outgoing girl like me it is just hard to meet, and I mean really meet, someone in such a large body. But it is more than that... Of course, I want friends, people who I can connect with, shop with and waste time with... but even more so I believe I feel this craving because God wants me. I believe before he can answers the prayers of my heart, I must first remember what it is to marvel in His presence. What a blessing it is to sit at His feet and learn the ways of the Kingdom and feel His glory shine upon my face. And I realize I may have lost some of you by now, some readers and passerby-ers but that's why I said, "This one is for me" but I encourage you to bear with me.
So many times we are reminded that the Lord is jealous for us, that without him there is no life. I heard one girl at my internship say through her tears, "It's like I was alive but I wasn't living- and THAT is why I need this ministry, I want to live life again, seeing how the multiple times I have tried to take it from myself, I have failed, I might as well live."
Wow... think about that for a second. Lord knows I was probably not suppose to share that, but really think about it- how often do we live without living? Well, I tell ya what, I sure want to live. Nothing in His Kingdom has ever proven to me that He is not worth fighting for. His mercy, His grace, His unconditional love, His tenderness, His creativity- and I do not just say these words because they sound Christian-like or fitting BUT BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED THEM. Oh. the goodness He has shown me, the favor He has put on my life. He has promised me that my cries will be heard, that my faith-filled prayers will kick open doors and save the hurting women of this world AND OH, HOW I BELIEVE HIM!!!
Tears fill my eyes and start to run down my cheeks as I write- this is not common for me. Although emotional by nature, my heart is just overflowing with His desire for me. Yes, desire. That is exactly what I feel. He desires to be with me. He desires to hear my voice. He desires to see my dreams come true. He desires me. And honestly, what woman does not long to feel desired for? Or- desire to be longed for. I am not the creator of this thought, but why do you think we all have such underlying emotions, such strong ties to hope, a common need to be loved?
I leave you with this, I cannot wait to delve back into this love relationship with the Lord. I am so thankful He brought me to this new appreciation of desire and hunger for Him. For it is through our sufferings we become aware of how beautiful the one, the dream, the Kingdom, the Father, the Spirit, the love, the comfort, we are chasing really is. I thank all of you who I know have kept me in your prayers [[orwishesandhopes-ifour'beliefs'-aredifferent]] I have come to a great place. A great job, a great city, a miraculous home, and back to a Father I can't wait to experience.
Please listen to this.
Above all else: Love
Friday, January 22, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
This is my first attempt ever at a webcam. Thought my followers would enjoy this. I do not have much to say tonight but now that good posts will be coming. The Lord is so good and He is a just a God who answers prayers! I am also using Windows Live Writer to do this post, this too is new to me. I see why other people’s blogs look so much cooler than mine now. But alas, I have a brand new Dell Studio that rockssss so maybe I will become a little better at all this techy stuff. Be blessed ‘Y’all’ haha.Ps the scan I do of the room is no justice- it is the loft part of my room where I have laid out everything needing to be unpacked. I hope to share pictures of this beautiful place asap.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
the full gas tank with 800 miles to go...
the fresh packed luggage soon to be unpacked...
the closed door soon to be opened,
the first impressions ready to be made...
the unknown- what a weird place to be*
Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
And there's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way
Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me"
Never in one place for too long
But there's no lack of arms around me
But I still wonder if somewhere I went wrong
but baby you're still on my mind
Now I'm grown and alone
and wishin I was with you tonight
'Cause I can guarantee
things are sweeter in Tennessee"
A couple modern day Moses, searching for the promise land
We can go for a hundred miles before we stop for gas
We can drive for a day and then we'll take a look at the map
Heads Carolina, tails California
Somwhere greener, somewhere warmer"
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Brockport has yet to sign the MercyMinistries contract.
As of four days ago, they want me to have a new supervisor.
This may happen by tomorrow... or it may not happen at all.
Don't be fooled, I am not worried.
Well, I am [[ha.ha.]] but I am not going to be after I write this post.
I have had to give this internship into the Lord's hands...
Maybe I should have just left it in His, huh?
Outside of that, I can't stop singing songs about Tennessee and the South-
Love and Hope- I am just so excited.
Here are some verses I am chewing on
Proverbs 24: 27
Finish your outdoor work
and get your fields ready;
after that, build your house.
for waging war you need guidance,
and for victory many advisers.
Exodus 33:14- 16
The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." 15 Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 Howill anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
It all makes me wonder,
Saturday, January 2, 2010
this place is so cold.
and you're not here.