Monday, December 28, 2009

The Cliché Post for 2010

[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]]  
[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]]   
[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]]   

I want to be inspired
I want to inspire
I want to be told I'm beautiful
I want everything to be beautiful
I want to grow in my faith
I want others to join my faith
I want to stay in love
I want to give unconditional love

I want to move away
I want to stay close
I want him to notice
I want him to go away
I want her to understand
I want her to not know so much
I want to know all the plans
I want to be completely surprised 
...That's it, that is what I want.

I want to be completely surprised. God and I will be traveling to many different places and chapters in my life this year and in each one I want to be completely surprised. I want Him to do what He always does. He takes those little hopes and dreams you never verbalized before and makes them reality. It is not like I ever put the words together that 'I would like to move down south and work at a ministry and live with a Pastor's family and learn from them'.... But he puts together little desires and works everything for good. [[evenwhenthingsarebad]] So that's it my NewYear's Resolution is to know more about Him and less about my plans.

[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]]  
[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]] 
[[inspire, beautiful, faith, love, stay, go, know, surprised]]   

Friday, December 18, 2009

Empty Dorm Room

Just an fyi: I swear I have more intelligent, meaningful thoughts and conversations throughout the day but when it comes time to blog I feel I write about the most simple things.

Empty Dorm Rooms.
I know I have wrote about this before.
These thoughts I have now, I have had for years.
Tomorrow I will arise for the last time in my dorm room.
Today it is all packed up, hidden away in my closet
awaiting a handsome fellow to pack it in my car
((like I always make him do))
Yet this morning it still looked like my room.
There are no pictures, no wall hangings, no mess on the floor
no half-poured out bookbags, no half eaten cookies,
no ribbons and earrings tangled,
no super late homework assignments crumbled up,
no pink fuzzy socks to be found.
Empty walls in an Empty dorm.

But why then does it still feel like home?
Why do I still feel the same peace when I walk in?
Why can I tell that it is mine and feel like nothing is missing?

I have thought alot about what a home really means.
Some quote, "Home is where the heart is"
While others, "Home is not where you live, but where they understand you" 
And still others, "Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes on"

So what is it, what is in the still of the air that makes everything so comforting?
Maybe I will never know, but whatever it is- I appreciate it.
And I appreciate that it follows me wherever I go.
That way I know, everyplace will be home. 

P.s. To anyone who reads this, whether you normally comment or not let me know what your thoughts are on this feeling, if you have ever had it or not. Or leave your favorite home quote so I can start a collection for future writings. Thanks!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Glimpse

Because recently I can't say it  myself:

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote: "Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

"To be nothing but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everyone else, means to fight the hardest battle, which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.” E.E. Cummings


Dream Big. 
Stand Firm. 
And Inspire Others. 
Believing in Yourself is More
Than Half the Battle. -me.

To a college life well lived.
Thank you Brockport, 
Thank you. 


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Not a lot has changed.

 Last year on Saturday December 20th, I wrote this post:

Early Morning Tuesday December 9th, I write this:
Not a lot has changed.
I remember the joy I had writing that post. Everything I said was so true.
Those are my raw emotions.
When you search deep within me you will find exactly what I wrote there.

And yes, obviously things have changed.
A year has gone by and things have been good... real good.
The Lord is so faithful and so true to His word.
Yet, I sit here and cry as I write this post.
But I am so thankful for this.
This outlet of emotion.
How else could I possibly deal with the fact that
in two weeks my life will be completly different?
I'll go home and I'll love it... like I always do.
Then I'll head down to Nashville and I'll live it... I know I will.
I am twenty-one years old- graduating...
leaving the place I have known as home for what feels like forever.
No matter how many times I remind myself of this.. I don't believe it.
As I write this I am trying to convince myself that
I will not return as a Resident Assistant next semester.
I won't be getting jitterbugs coffee anymore.
The acronym BSG won't matter anymore.
My friends won't be right down the street.
I won't be able to wear boots that don't match with paint stained sweats.
I won't... I just won't...

It is so frustrating. I am so happy wherever I am at but I hate moving on.
How can I possibly be so complicated?
Does anyone understand??

I watched a lot of One Tree Hill tonight.
It's been a year since I have and I am glad I gave myself that time.
I have four papers and two finals... but this was my "last Monday" as I told everyone.
I deserved to take a night off.
This may seem really dramatic to some of you,
but this is me, this is how I feel and not a lot has changed. 

Peyton: (voiceover) Dear Molly, this is gonna sound a little strange but I'd like you to paint over my old closet door. The thing is there is never a time when you will be more honest, and your convictions will be stronger, and your motives will be more pure than they are right now. Which means you should chase whatever excites you. Be confident, and take risks, and paint over my words so you can start writing your own. My story may have inspired you, but I'm certain your story will inspire the next girl to live in our room. I want you to know you don't need somebody to write about you in order for your life to mean something. You can write about yourself… make your own destiny. Then years from now the next girl will keep what you write on that door long enough to remind you how inspired your life is. And you can tell that girl to paint over the door because you realize the words you wrote, the friends you had, the urgency you felt will always be there under the paint. The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth for better or for worse burning fiercely just below the surface. Love Peyton

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Testing 1,2,3

I just found out how to update my blog via phone :)
This picture makes us both laugh a lot,
so I thought I would use it as the tester.
We often say that Ryan is digging himself a hole 
and that he is constantly needed new and flashier shovels 
to keep up with his mouth. Ha ha. So Enjoy!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

What they said.

" Our vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence. The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change. The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead. The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know. The vision is hope, and hope is real. You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story."

-TWLOHA vision

“Hope is a powerful contraceptive. The way that you help young people avoid pregnancy is by providing them with real evidence that good things can happen in their lives.”
-Prevention program in NYC

"Although technology helps soothe this ache at times, I feel that it always leaves me wanting more. More conversation, more information, more feeling, more thought more interaction...just more. Something is missing from these artificial forms of communication. When we attempt to fill the void that we feel inside ourselves with this technology, we are about as successful as a child trying to fill a hole in the sand with water."
-Soul Rebellion

"I'd give up the privilege to drink to be 19 again."
-An old High School friend's facebook status today

"It's been fifty years, fifty long years since I've done this. Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination"
- One Tree Hill

"Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
There's a log on the fire 

and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye"
-'Save Tonight' Eagle Eye Cherry

"These days everything is all business
Never in one place for too long
But theres no lack of arms around me 
But I still wonder if somewhere I went wrong...
And I'd wish on every star 
in the southern sky 
for that man and our life
If I did not think that
Maybe I was much to selfish
but baby you're still on my mind
Now I'm grown and alone
and wishin I was with you tonight
'Cause I can guarantee
things are sweeter in Tennessee.
Yes, I can guarantee
things are sweeter in Tennessee"
-'Tennessee', The Wreckers