Friday, July 2, 2010

Come up Swinging

I told myself I would write.
I made a pact with myself that significant points in my life either good or bad would be shared in hopes of someday having my story help others get through their own stories.
Now who is to say that I can even help someone.
Seems a little egotistical to me... but a hope we all have.
Who doesn't want their life to mean something.
Who doesn't want to look back and say look, look, I made a difference!

Anyways- I write tonight from a broken heart.
From a emptiness.
From a longing.
From a very large confusion.
I use to know.
Like I use to know, know.
Now... I don't know.

I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I also don't want to leave myself dragging behind.
There are heartaches in this life and I know no relationship is perfect.
But I want to be adored and I don't want to be left in the dust.
Does he even know, you ask.
I am not sure. Maybe it is obvious to both of us- maybe I am over-analyzing.
But I know that my heart hurts...and that's all I know right now.

The world dates differently.
They move on faster.
They don't have the spiritual connection we do.
They settle, they become complacent, they let dreams subside and become bitter and restless.
I don't want that. I don't want to be a statistic.
I want... I want to be in love... like I thought I was.

I just want him to come up swinging.
I want to be fought for,
I want to be desired,
I want to be woo'd.
Is that okay to still want this late in the game?
Am I asking too much--am I letting him give too little?

Like I said, I don't know.
I really don't know.

"Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need"
-Lady Antebellum 

1 comment:

Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story. said...

you aren't asking for too much. but what makes you happiest in life isn't always what you thought it would be.