Friday, December 5, 2008

Lights, Camera, Activated.

Caution: This Post will be very scattered.

"My Daughter this is a season where I am going to begin to activate you, I am going to activate the spirit of the Lord of you." How exciting. How so very exciting!!!

So I felt this, majorly. Right after the presbytery I was ready. It wasn't one of those mountaintop moments- it was just totally different. I am so ready.

Okay so what do I mean by ready, you ask? Well, I was at Cornerstone (worship on a friday night @ our church) when students went up to an alter call I felt this constant urge to pray over them- I know you can pray for others anywhere but I wanted to converse with them. But I can't. I am not a leader. Which is fine, I understand the covering and reason for this but I amreaddyyyyyyy.

I am ready to pour into others.
Not to say I am done-
No way have I reached a point of...
well there is no point. It's a season.
It is discipleship.
And I can do it.
Yay! I can do what I am finally called to do.

God has been so gracious to me (if you don't already know)
"For woman I will give you a voice, for young woman who are broken, taken advantage of, abandoned and used up, you are going to being life and restoration. You will release healing to bodies, healing to souls, healing to spirits, healing to minds- there is a gift of healing that is coming to you."

And I can do it. Yes, I have wrote about this before but it all ties in.
This is my season.

I met with my pastor today to discuss my prophecy and he believes in me.
I know that sounds bad, I mean of course he believes in me.
But his belief in me makes me even more realize how much Jesus believes in me.

"And when you found me, you found a new security and a new strength and you began you had something to offer. And when God added his spirit to the talents that are in you- they became something of great value you to me. So know this daughter, I declare in front of all these people, you are of great value to me. I'm gonna use you for my glory, I'm gonna cause worship to be birthed in you. I'm gonna cause you to be a real woman of grace, a woman of wisdom and balance."

I have something to offer. Now, here comes the hard part.
How will I know who to pour into?
I am told I can reach the unreachable...
But that takes so much work so much persistence.
Prayer. Yes, Prayer is the answer to this concern.

But oh how all so exciting.

I also love how much my schoolwork has played completely into my calling & lifegroup.
I believe that is so true the more you study social science the more you realize how perfectly it all fits into the bible.
All semester my Human Behavior class and the book Captivating have basically been hand-in-hand walking me through my childhood wounds and growing me into a young woman of God.
My diversity class has opened my eyes to the aches and pain of this devil-ruled world and how huge of a need there is to spread the good news. Forget preaching! Forget debates! just spread Jesus, there is not enough time to fret over pro-choice and gay marriage, were talking souls here not sins.

However, that is how I feel. I completely 100% believe that the spirit gives you your own convictions. When you read God's word and something pricks your heart, God gave you that on purpose. I am not a one issue woman. Some are, thats fine. Thats better then fine, its great. But I am here to save souls, not lecture them.

God has also got me looking forward a lot. I tell you what I have always been a girl of the past. Please go ahead read my beginning posts and see for yourself. But now, on a constant basis, I am looking forward to the next sunrise, the next conversation, the next chance to share my faith, the next wednesday lunchdate, the next holiday, the next email from mercy ministries, the next expression of emotion on my blog.

& then, there is him. My worldly love. I haven't had much thought about him lately. I have come to terms that in order to give these girls (whoever they maybe) what they deserve, then I must not allow my heart to wander...especially backwards.

That is whats so harrrrddd. No one sees the extra work that goes into discipling. I am not saying I want a spotlight, I get that from my RA position or my new outfit, but ughhhh. I know how exhausting it is to just care about someone, now I will be their source of wisdom. wow.

thats another big point. for the first time in my life, people listen. They don't just wave me off as a blond, as a girl, as a new christian. No, students, faculty, friends, foes-everyone they listen. It's a great feeling. Its completely from God and his wisdom and giftings he has imparted on me but I am oh so thankful for it.

& that is all for now. I feel like I have expressed enough. Good Night.

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