Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Moving up, Moving on, and Moving in

:::So epic fail on blogspot's part for losing
this orignial post however,
I am going to try and recreate it:::

I am so ready. I am so ready to do God's work.
These past few weeks I feel as if I could burst.
I just have so much that I want to give back,
and I feel so ready--- but I am not
I still have so much learn. I still have so much to face.
I wish this was a season of leadership but it's not.
It's a season of faith. It's a season of testing.

Something has changed in me drastically these past two weeks.
I have changed some outrageous opinons and life outlooks.
I want babies. I have never wanted babies before. Not never.
I normally could not stand a cat and now I crumble looking into thier eyes.
Could it be God is showing me more of His heart?
Could it be this is what I was meant to be molded into?
Who knows? But it is a wonderful season to be in.
New outlooks, new hobbies, and new loves.

I don't think I will ever forget how the moonlight
shined on her face that night.
There was four of us, singing our hearts out to the Lord.
Barely on key, barely in tune- but so pure and so submitted.
The curtain laid a perfect shade of blue on the floor
and when she swayed in that light in the dorm room
my heart melted, my life changed, and for a passing moment,
everything was as it should be.

I am not saying at all that I have any of the answers to life,
or that I have become a completely different person in two weeks-
but boy I sure do feel directed. I feel needed. I feel submitted.
I feel good, and it all feels so right.

I have been thinking a lot about where God's plan will lead me.
Africa to heal? Elmira for ol' time sakes?
Brockport to stay? Nashville to save?
Where did these aspirations come from?
How could I have ignored them for so long?
This is the first time in my Christian walk I feel as if I am only leading one life.
I wrote last month about giving up on my two lives.
And for those who have lived this, it's hard.
It is so easy to slip into old habits- but not this time.
God's love is too real to me, the pain of the world is too much for me-
to just sit back and enjoy life.
So this is how I have been feeling lately...
& I can only hope Blogspot keeps this one :)


Heather said...

I've been checking your blog every day and it's been like "This page does not exist" and i'm like this is a blog i need to see!! =]

Tears of complete joy for you my dear...<3

all I can say is Mmm. and I'm glad you want babies. i take full responsibility...=]

Elizabeth said...

oh dearie :)