Thursday, February 25, 2010

When My Mind Goes There

That foolish night in the auditorium. 
The banister at prom. 
The Christmas party.
The white dress I still have.
The parking lot full of rain puddles
The cherry tree outside of dailey.
My hometown's fairgrounds.

When my mind goes there, I don't make it stop.
I know that in about ten minutes my heart is going to be heavy.
And I know if I keep this up I am going to want to cry.
But when my mind goes there, my heart won't let it stop.

Oh, what a joyful season this has been.
God has been beyond faithful.
Nashville is everything I could have dreamed for and more.
But when my mind goes there...

It goes to the puffy paint that stained our hands.
It goes to the late night calls I'd make without my mother knowing.
It goes to the basketball games, the nightly walks, the parties, the drama, the glam, the dining hall, the coffeehouse, the old cars, the dates, the mall trips, the tears, the lonely nights, waiting for him to call, waiting for her to care. It just goes.

I feel so grown up as in I can't even try to be that person anymore
who cared for such foolish things. 
Yet, I know I am young.
I know I have plenty of mistakes to make. 
I know I have plenty of relationships to lose and gain still.
I know I have plenty of sleep to be lost for fun late nights.
I know I have much to look forward to... 

yet, there is just so much to look back at also.

One of my favorite memories from College was a simple day in class. We were all in the lab at the library and the teacher never showed. But for the mere fact of camaraderie we all hung out and spouted off 'TFLN' for over an hour ((socialworkers-admitit) it was just such an example of how close you become as a major.

Then there is the last day of my high-school career. We sat on the hood of my '93 and he gave me a guitar pick necklace. He made it. It was cheap. But I knew he cared. And I knew somewhere out there, there was :::real::: love. Unconditional love and I was going to find it.

Or basically anytime I spent with Jill gossiping and gabbing, and gossiping and gabbing. Letting our hearts be raw and filled with love because of it. Figuring out what it really meant to be able to make our own decisions in college and living with the consequences of those choices.

Marissa, oh sweet Marissa. Her nativity is still to be admired. The one who could set any of us off was the same one to instantly make us laugh. Always a good one for music, never on time, but beautiful because of it.

I often laugh at the year I lived with Emily, who acted more like my personal assistant, poor girl had to take care of me in my toughest season.. "Can I call him yet??" I did so much to fill my life that year with anything but the Lord. Yet, He won. He won my heart and it has yet to leave.

English class in highschool was awful. I remember no one ever knew what we were suppose to read or if we did read what exactly the point was. None of it made sense... how did we ever pass. Or pass Chemistry for that matter? Did we pass chemistry...

Oh gosh, haha I am so glad my two besties don't live in the house on Maxon St. anymore.. yuck. What a group of people to co-habitat. Not the best fit... nope. However, there was always plenty of food to be shared on my bi-weekly visits.

I would always get nervous to hang out with Tim. I mean we were so different, were we going to be able to think of anything to talk about? And then it would be three hours later and my stomach just couldn't take anymore laughing. I loved my times with him.

More so then the main people I loved being able to hang out with such a variety. Like my most recent roommates. All so very different. Passionate in their own way. Yet, a connection was made with each one of them. Or back in the day the randomness of the cafeteria seating. I always had new friends. Always cheering for the underdog. Always worrying about having a boyfriend. Always searching for change to buy an ice cream bar. Always making a scene to be noticed, always.

Alas, I let my mind go there. So many things happen throughout my life and this is what my heart releases to blog. My memories. My sweet sweet memories. Those moments in life that only make me more excited about the future. About the people I have yet to meet. The people I have yet in impact and better yet... the people that have yet to impact me. *smile* Well, now that's a nice thought... I'm glad I let my mind go there.


Emily Elizabeth said...

i loved living you darlin. being a personal assistant was fun =D

Christina said...

Hey Kerri! ...Sounds like you're busy but loving life. Praying that all is well...I love reading your blog it always puts a huge smile on my face :-)

[Dana] said...

Carl's policy lab class may be my favorite class of all time at Brockport.
I miss seeing your smiling face every day even if it was only in passing from the dorms. I've said it before, and I'll say it many times more, I'm proud of you. We're both making the most of these few months away, and despite the random bouts of homesickness or longing to see certain people, we're hanging in there and learning along the way. <3