Sunday, March 29, 2009

I Miss You, Sincerly Me

Dear Lord,

How long did I let myself run dry? Lord Jesus you have already forgiven me- but Lord I miss your company. I miss your touch. I miss the peace I receive from you. I miss your sense of humor. I miss your the adventures we use to have. I miss the music you use to set my feet a dancing to. I miss the way the sunshine reminded me of your smile. I miss telling my friends about you. I miss the envy they had over you. I miss the gifts you use to surprise me with. I miss the time we spent just enjoying each other. I miss everything.

You complete me.

I'm hoping you'll take me back. I know I've done you wrong and it's nothing directly against you- juts put some other things ahead of you. I let my love for you dwindle as others made me false promises of forever. I can tell by your spirit that you still love me, you still cherish me, you never will cause me harm. But as much as I believe that and as much as I miss you...

I don't trust you.

You have never really given me a reason not to, I mean things have gone wrong but that was never intentional. You didn't want harm to happen, it just did. My heart aches for you. It longs for you. It was created for you. But I am not willing to surrender yet, not just yet. I'll allow you to romance me. I'll allow you you to spoil me. I'll allow you to cherish me as I learn to cherish you again and then maybe- just maybe- I'll put dreams in your hands. I'll put my load upon your back. I'll put my giftings to work for you. But I'm not in love yet.

But please, oh dear Lord please, do not give up on me.


1 comment:

Kendralee* said...

if we only had one chance He wouldn't have very many hands to hold now would He? Fortunately for us, He understands us more than we understand ourselves. For me this is a very good thing as I rarely understand myself.

He won't give up on you, dear.
Don't give up on yourself.