Monday, March 15, 2010

White Flag

I feel defeated. I am over being here.
I have been here for 8 weeks and I have 6.5 weeks more to go...
I can't really describe what it is I feel.
I miss everyone, yes.
I miss home, yes.
But that's not it.


I believe it has a lot more to do with I have stopped expecting.
I knew God was going to rock me when I first got here.
I knew God was really going to be amazing during the two conferences.
But now what?
I am on the end tail of my time here.
I still feel just as out of place at Mercy as I did 8 weeks ago.


"If you hold up a dixie cup that is all God can fill"
Perhaps I need a much bigger dixie cup...

I want to tell you all I am going to stand on my solid ground
and fight to be joyful in all of this... but today I ain't feeling it. 
However, I know in the long run it will be so much more fruitful if I hit the ground running now.


Expect great things.
Expect great things.
I am going to expect great things.

4 comments:

Corina said...

When you think about it a white flag is just a piece of cloth atop a piece of wood. I know of another piece of not-so-white-cloth atop a larger piece of wood, attached to a man. That flag will always fly, leading the way home.<3

[Dana] said...

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be.....




When I myself want nothing more than to be back in NY, I find this song helps a bit. Hope it helps you even a little bit too.
<3<3<3

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