Praise Reports from my hometown of Elmira New York:
Churches are one fire for God and His Holy Spirit.
My Mother started to attend Saturday evening church.
My Father confessed his belief in Jesus Christ.
My 25 year old cousin was baptized last Sunday and is a beautiful worshiper.
Her three daughters are learning what it is to love the Lord.
There will be an annual 'Hope of Christmas' where both churches I attended stated:
"To bring Jesus fame, not our Church"
I know this may seem snooty, selfish, or whatever... but I forgot that God was moving in Elmira.
I look around and see so much destitute and I figure since I did not know God in Elmira... He must not be there? That sounds wrong, but sometimes I forget that God is working ALL AROUND the Globe. It is more than our church, more than our community, more than America. I admit a lot of it came out of my disbelief that He could ever save my family... again wrong I know, but when someone is so close to your heart and you know their circumstances and you know their stance on the world, it is very difficult to believe that they will ever... well... believe.
I felt like if any of that was going to happen it was going to take a lot of prayers and effort on my part. Bring this light I found into the dark darkness I left in Elmira. Silly me.. as usual. God does not need me. God is moving in my Hometown, always has been, and always will be-with or without me. And that my friends is a *beautiful* thing to be reminded of
You are the God of this City.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Capstone
I never fall asleep when I say I am going to.
Latest realization:
30 days until I pack up my last dorm room ever.
Only 24 of those days are going to be spent in Brockport.
Only 17 of those days are 'normal' college days.
....Panic sets in. 17 days is not nearly enough.
Did I accomplish everything I wanted?
Did I make God's goodness known?
Was I there enough for the ones who love me?
Did I live it up?
Is this really ending?
This is the same feeling of when I traveled to Europe and
did not realize I was there, like really there until three days in.
Life becomes such a normalcy and a... given (?)
that it is way too difficult to comprehend a different way of life.
This happens to me every summer also.
I love home when I am there.
I love school when I am here.
And I love the double-home feeling.
Not a double life, but having two completely separate places
that are completely home to me.
...will I have even one home now?
This post has nothing to do with Nashville.
How could I not be excited for that?
This panic would have happened
just the same in May as it is now.
17 days. What can I accomplish in 17 days?
Should I be accomplishing anything in 17 days?
Should I just enjoy where I have worked up to?
Or should I strive to make everything perfect by the time I leave?
...I feel like I am leaving so many seeds behind.
So many unblossomed works.
That is another bittersweet moment.
Knowing that I have made a difference,
but yet only seeing that difference through facebook
and every so often coffee dates.
I want to make a checklist.
Only 24 of those days are going to be spent in Brockport.
Only 17 of those days are 'normal' college days.
....Panic sets in. 17 days is not nearly enough.
Did I accomplish everything I wanted?
Did I make God's goodness known?
Was I there enough for the ones who love me?
Did I live it up?
Is this really ending?
This is the same feeling of when I traveled to Europe and
did not realize I was there, like really there until three days in.
Life becomes such a normalcy and a... given (?)
that it is way too difficult to comprehend a different way of life.
This happens to me every summer also.
I love home when I am there.
I love school when I am here.
And I love the double-home feeling.
Not a double life, but having two completely separate places
that are completely home to me.
...will I have even one home now?
This post has nothing to do with Nashville.
How could I not be excited for that?
This panic would have happened
just the same in May as it is now.
17 days. What can I accomplish in 17 days?
Should I be accomplishing anything in 17 days?
Should I just enjoy where I have worked up to?
Or should I strive to make everything perfect by the time I leave?
...I feel like I am leaving so many seeds behind.
So many unblossomed works.
That is another bittersweet moment.
Knowing that I have made a difference,
but yet only seeing that difference through facebook
and every so often coffee dates.
I want to make a checklist.
"Things to do in 17 days:
The Capstone of My Brockport Existence"
The Capstone of My Brockport Existence"
But God has already done that...
December 3rd "To Write Love On Her Arms" Performance
The Capstone of My Brockport Existence.
The Capstone of My Brockport Existence.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
This is For Heather
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The future... how much am I allowed to plan?
How much is already planned?
How much greater are the things
God can think of then the things I can think of?
How does he make everything so... sweet tasting?
life. purity. honesty. forgiveness. walking in the light.
we're called. we're called together.
My ministry somehow became our ministry.
His dreams somehow became my dreams.
I want to move to the Carolinas'.
Heather, this ones for you.
Secret Place
"Your love is extravagantYour friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Cause Your love is extravagant
Chorus:
Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate"
-Casting Crowns
Monday, November 9, 2009
Restored Vision
I have learned so much these past two weeks.
God has healed me in ways I did not even know possible.
I was forgiven and given so much it is immeasurable.
He used His Word to correct my life.
He used His Grace to empower me.
He used my worship to Heal others.
He used these two weekends to prepare future.
I really should share all that has happened and how grateful I am.
But instead, I just had such a foolish moment.
A pure joy realization.
Simple really, almost non-God related at all.
A thought from Him, but not for Him.
Brace yourself ladies...
God has healed me in ways I did not even know possible.
I was forgiven and given so much it is immeasurable.
He used His Word to correct my life.
He used His Grace to empower me.
He used my worship to Heal others.
He used these two weekends to prepare future.
I really should share all that has happened and how grateful I am.
But instead, I just had such a foolish moment.
A pure joy realization.
Simple really, almost non-God related at all.
A thought from Him, but not for Him.
Brace yourself ladies...
Someday I am going to be doing laundry
for a family and I am really excited about that.
Like I said, almost non-God related at all...
but He changed me.
He restored my vision for a family.
A family with a foundation of Love and Righteousness.
A family with a vision to catch fish and make them fishers of men.
"A family" He declares, "is exactly what you deserve"
for a family and I am really excited about that.
Like I said, almost non-God related at all...
but He changed me.
He restored my vision for a family.
A family with a foundation of Love and Righteousness.
A family with a vision to catch fish and make them fishers of men.
"A family" He declares, "is exactly what you deserve"
Monday, November 2, 2009
When I Remember
Sometimes I forget my mother hates my father.
Sometimes I forget people's minds are full of blackmail.
Sometimes I forget there are starving nations when I am dieting.
Sometimes I forget snorting coke is a normalcy at parties nowadays.
Sometimes I forget that since I love Jesus the world is going to reject me.
Sometimes I forget the bottle runs more households than two parents do.
Sometimes I forget there are thousands of girls sold into sex slavery.
Sometimes I forget about the innocent people in prison.
Sometimes I forget that he broke my heart.
Sometimes I forget why I was so confused when he left.
Sometimes I forget about all the vacations that have been ruined.
Sometimes I forget my Brother does not return my phone calls
Sometimes I forget all the pain from my past...
but when I remember...
Sometimes I forget people's minds are full of blackmail.
Sometimes I forget there are starving nations when I am dieting.
Sometimes I forget snorting coke is a normalcy at parties nowadays.
Sometimes I forget that since I love Jesus the world is going to reject me.
Sometimes I forget the bottle runs more households than two parents do.
Sometimes I forget there are thousands of girls sold into sex slavery.
Sometimes I forget about the innocent people in prison.
Sometimes I forget that he broke my heart.
Sometimes I forget why I was so confused when he left.
Sometimes I forget about all the vacations that have been ruined.
Sometimes I forget my Brother does not return my phone calls
Sometimes I forget all the pain from my past...
but when I remember...
I can't wait to forget.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
October
Dear October,
Did I miss something? Did you really just leave me like that? Are you really gone..? October please, you know how much I love you, don't you? Think of how much fun we have had together...and the memories?? Are you really going to be able to walk away from them, get them out of your mind? Please... don't you understand you are my favorite? October.. I feel lost without you. I let you tear down my walls, I let you in. You showed me how much I have to offer this world and that I am unique, loved and purposed. Now... now, I am left with all this destruction. But, it's a good destruction. You changed me. You somehow led me to be more... me. October, I may not understand- but you gave me a plan... and somehow with or without you I am going to do what it is you showed me. So in a way, I am really mad at you. But then again, you saved my life from dishonorable ways and I am grateful for that.
Yours truly,
Changed Forever
Did I miss something? Did you really just leave me like that? Are you really gone..? October please, you know how much I love you, don't you? Think of how much fun we have had together...and the memories?? Are you really going to be able to walk away from them, get them out of your mind? Please... don't you understand you are my favorite? October.. I feel lost without you. I let you tear down my walls, I let you in. You showed me how much I have to offer this world and that I am unique, loved and purposed. Now... now, I am left with all this destruction. But, it's a good destruction. You changed me. You somehow led me to be more... me. October, I may not understand- but you gave me a plan... and somehow with or without you I am going to do what it is you showed me. So in a way, I am really mad at you. But then again, you saved my life from dishonorable ways and I am grateful for that.
Yours truly,
Changed Forever
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