paint, rocks, & memories.

im not artistic.
never have been.
whatever we all have our things.
its not one of mine.

however, i can not remember a fall where i was not *covered* in paint.

every year.
every homecoming.
for *eight* years.
i played a significant part in a homecoming.

this is it. this is the final one.

sure i may have kids.
they may or may not be forced into winning that crown...
but its not my homecoming.
*sighh*

i remember junior year, spring play
we were all painting part of the set
and i was covered, *covered* in black paint
i had one of those moments..
the moments that if i had a blog back then
i would have rushed home & told ya'll about.

i knew at that moment i would not be remembered.

i was painting over someone's hard work,
someone's big moment
i was earsing their work of art
and i had no idea who they were
& that same thing i knew was gonna happen to me
there was going to be a point where no one,
no one in my high-school would know my name
& i came to accept that.
((so what if that acceptance came during college))

so.... here i am again...

im alone in the office painting for homecoming
& there will come a point where no one will remember my name.
it could be next semester, maybe next fall.
for most that concept is easy to get over...
but im not most people.
maybe its selfish.
maybe even insecure.
but its how i feel.

i know life will be full of even better things than brockport
just like there was from edison...
but that still doesn't stop me from being sad,
it doesn't stop me from taking a second look around
and wishing i was coming back after december.

Joshua 4:1-7

¹ After all the people had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua,² "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe.³ Tell them to get twelve rocks from the middle of the river, from where the priests stood. Carry the rocks and put them down where you stay tonight."⁴ So Joshua chose one man from each tribe. Then he called the twelve men together⁵ and said to them, "Go out into the river where the Ark of the Lord your God is. Each of you bring back one rock, one for each tribe of Israel, and carry it on your shoulder.⁶ They will be a sign among you. In the future your children will ask you, 'What do these rocks mean?'⁷ Tell them the water stopped flowing in the Jordan when the Ark of the Agreement with the Lord crossed the river. These rocks will always remind the Israelites of this."

...maybe i should *paint* a rock.
then will they remember me?