Friday, July 16, 2010

Winter Clothes

I am in this shedding season I feel like. 
I have collectively over the years borrowed, taken or collected things from others and currently they are in a pile in my new place and I just want rid of them. 
I wanted a new bedset for here. To kind of start over. Look fresh. 
Shake off the old and start with the new. 

I know I just made a big transition in my life and with anything in my life I feel like its a go big or go home kind of move. I want rid of it... all. I'm over it, moving on... NEXT.

What does that even mean? You know that first feeling of taking off the bulky sweater and throwing on a tank top? Like those winter clothes had been carrying you down all year and now its time to throw them off, bag them up and move on. It's summer baby! *takes fresh breath of air*

That's how I feel.

However it is not all sunshine and rainbows taking that first step into summer. Summer exposes a lot. your less covered up and surrounded by people a whole lot more. Your favorite sweater is found in the trash bag of clothes. The comfort that kept you going all winter. Cold nights, it kept you warm. Feeling chubby days, it hide it from the world. Bonfire nights, perfect. Going for a walk, perfect. Out to dinner, of course. 

Now... I have outgrown it.
I am shedding what and when I least expected it. 
My roaming heart is still roaming.
I am not home yet.
I moved in and all my boxes are unpacked but my heart is still searching, still restless. 
It is looking love. 
Its looking for a place to unpack, a place to rest and pour it's treasures out to.
I know that seems corny-- but really, it is. 
And once you have felt that feeling you'll understand.

Sometimes I want my sweater, hide from the world behind what I have always known.
Other times, I want to strip down-- bear it to the world in a jean skirt & flip flops. 
Take chances, feel the sunshine and run like crazy.

 Lord, you know all. You made all. Show me what it is I am suppose to do. I can't do this without you. Dream big, or stay realistic. Shed it all or keep some of the old. Move on or stick it out. I trust you. I believe in you. Talk to me. I miss you.

2 comments:

Heather said...

love you baby!!!


and bring me my shirt.

hahaha <333

Dana Christine said...

YOU HAVE TO READ "Mourning for the Bridegroom" I think it's your time after reading this post. :)

man I'm so looking forward to the blog-side of kerri phillips! mmm so good!