And he waited...

I had a vision last night.
There has only been a few times I have been blessed with visions.
So they really mean a lot to me.

In my vision I was in my local church.
I was kneeling at the alter
I was pouring my heart out to Jesus, sobbing, singing, smiling and just enjoying His presence.
And at the back of the Church a boy enters.
He is wearing a full out tux and carrying b.e.a.utiful red roses.
He shut the door quietly so it wouldn't interrupt me.
He made his way towards the alter.
I was still focused on the Lord, not noticing his entrance at all.
At one point he went to get my attention, but he held back.
He paced back and forth a few times, but not in a rude manner.
Then he stopped.
He put the roses behind his back and waited.
I felt the words hit my heart like a dart to a cork board....

"When you're busy pursuing
the heart of God, you don't notice
who is pursuing yours"

It stopped me in my tracks. I fell right to the floor.
I met someone in December. He's great.
He's nothing like I've ever known.
He's nothing like I've ever wanted.
But he's everything I've ever needed.
Gosh, I could go on f.o.r h.o.u.r.s about how I feel about him
and the emotions that stir when I think about those brown eyes.
I want nothing more than to jump into another relationship.
Well, thats a lie. I do want more. That's why I am writing this.
Matthew & I decided about a month ago that starting on
February 15th we would only talk one hour a week
and no text messages until my Spring Break on March 15th.
That way we could break the routine of heading towards a
relationship and make sure our priorities are in line.
We obviously don't have the answers.
We have no clue what God is going to do within this month
but we need it. I want to be that girl.
I want to be so busy pursing Jesus's love,
I can't even tell if someone is longing for mine.
If a month isn't long enough, then I'll go farther.
I no longer want to be stuck in the bondage of worldly love.
& I have such an obvious way to break it and I'm going to.

So there it is. My vision, my heart, my longing.
Do with it what you will.
As for me, I'm handing it over to God.