Monday, June 27, 2011

Redefining Hypocrite

He would have told you in a heartbeat I was a hypocrite.
Just the type of Christian he despised.
And I would have hung my head and silently died on the inside.
The dictionary defines a hypocrite as: "a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion//a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings"
And, I got to thinking... I never pretended I was something I was not and I never hid my true feelings. In fact, if anything I spoke about too much if anything-- ask my friends!

I don't preach a gospel about perfect people who meet up on Sundays to brag about their good works... I have always spoken about broken people created by a perfect God who have chosen to have an unmatched-unbelievably sustaining- relationship with their Savoir. That one word enough speaks of us needed to be 'saved'.

Guilt is not of God. Did I do some stupid things? Yes. But they were not stupid because they contradicted my "religious beliefs" -- they were stupid because they distanced me from the true Lover of my soul. I couldn't hear his soft whispers as I let this man fill my mind with flirtatious thoughts. I missed all the joy of His creation as I stayed up too late and awoke too early all to enjoy his company instead of His. 

But I won't regret it. Not only was what I felt real (as written in the urgency post) but again it only led me to understand how much I LOVE GOD. He is not a part of my life, HE IS MY LIFE. I *refuse* to feel guilty.

In this whole "struggle" or what I would like to call human nature- the desire to be desired- I heard God whisper, 'It is no longer about the battle of good versus evil; Love won that one years ago. It is about choosing to use the right weapons and believing in the victory.' It is time to pick up that good book and redefine this whole hypocrite thing.

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