Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Alone at Night

When its just you.. alone in the darkness of your own bedroom... what is it that is on your mind? What do you sincerely cry over? What is it that makes you smile to yourself? Who either romantically or not would you want lying next to you? What are scared of? What can't you get yourself from thinking about over and over again?

Here are my thoughts:

  • I think it was easier before I learned how to dream. And dream big at that.
  • How much longer will I be able to walk around with a stuffed animal and whine in my own home?
  • What happened to carefree dating?
  • I think every summer gets better.
  • I want to grow up.... nope. Never mind.
  • I feel like I am two totally different people from home & school because at school I run that shit at home I am only a child.
  • I am very proud of myself with what I have accomplished at Brockport. I think I will always be proud of myself.
  • I feel really peaceful.
  • I am ready to move on. expect great things.
  • ..but where is my heart really?
  • Earlier I could not even pray for Mercy Ministries... is that really my dream?
  • Why have I always put friends before family?
  • How does he play mind tricks so well????
  • What if I fail and never accomplished what I promised you I would?
  • Life has been really good to me and I have sworn off this whole two lives thing. F* that. I am Kerri Phillips. Loud attention seeking love me some Jesus and Ryan Patrick. End of story.
  • When I lie down to sleep at night I always feel like God's going to pull out this big yellow pad ad say "Well today Kerri you..." but he never does. He gently lays my head down and whispers, "Rest my child. Tomorrows a new day."
  • Looking around my room at all my little trinkets I know that if I made the transition from high-school to college I can def. do college to real life.
  • Im one of those girls who adults say I have a good head on my shoulders and I believe that... I can do this. With the book smarts form my father, street from my mother, and the wisdom I am learning daily from my Lord and Savior, Im gonna be alright. As Carrie Underwood would say "Heres a map & bible if you ever lose your way..."
  • I believe we should all take lessons from everyone we meet. I think of it as searching for gold. A lot fo sand will fall through the holes but the peices of gold that are left behind hold such an uncomparble shimmer.
  • You have to find your own balance.
  • College is the time to let life & God flip your idea of this world and shake your plans to pieces.
  • You have to stick up for yourself. Believe in God and his love but also yourself and the choices you make in this heartbroken world.
  • ...You can only do so much... you can't.... can not save them all.
  • My bliss = glass of sweet red wine. country music. bible. I know what I want...its just waiting for it now.
  • Now that my dreams are set I can not imagine anything else.
  • I made it really far here. So did a lot of Deltas. I am really gonna miss this.
  • I never knew being on top would really feel so good.
  • I need to keep focused on the young hurting women. I feel like I have abandoned she did me. I lost my confidence because the Christian Culture challenged me. ... was it me? I mean I know I am wrong.. but..ugghhh.
  • This bed is not as comfortable as last years.. =/
  • Final thought of the night: I need to get some sleep

1 comment:

Francesca Celeste said...

I want to grow up...nope, nevermind...CLASSIC...Love you kphil!