Freshman

Okay so I'll admit it.... I have this weird obsession with freshman.
They are just so new, so fresh, so naive, so punctual, so lost.
You know how everyone loves children?
Or the feeling most people get when a cute lil pup roams into the room?
I feel that way about freshman.
Let me clarify.
I do not see them as incapable pets.
Or
Adorable children who need guidance.
But to me, they are just fascinating.

I mean what are they thinking right now.
Its the night before classes.
Almost all of them moved in two nights ago.
What are there stories?
What was high-school like?
What are they expecting from college?
Did they go out last night?
Do they love their roommate?
bahh... I fell like I could ask so many questions.

They have so many firsts here...
just thinking about it chocks me up...

I have met a few freshman this weekend.
Few different kinds of encounters with them.
About 10-12 of them were at the BASIC bonfire we had.
It was a time to get those Christians coming to college connected before they can make any others choices about college life.
All of them were so different.
So many odd match ups in rooming.
I made a big deal out of two of them having their first bite of the local pizza.
As simple as pizza just gets me excited to see a first.
I mean their 18... its thier first time away....
I wonder what they are thinking...

I also briefly met two freshmen on my way back to the dorm yesterday.
As a senior I know that as sson as the parking e-mail goes out you purchase your permit...
well, I hesitated and now I am on a three week long waiting list.
So as I was walking back from what seems to be Africa from my dorm I was offered a ride back by two girls about ready to drive back.
I was shocked. I didnt know the girls and they could not have been more than 18.
I figured what the heck.
As we chitchatted a bit and waited for the one girl's boyfriend to arrive I couldn't help but recognize how beautiful they were.
How innocent they are.
How thoughtful it was to offer me a ride.
Once the boyfriend arrived it was just me and the one girl heading back.
That's when she explained to me how her roommate had just gotten in trouble the night before from drinking too much and having abd run in with Residential Life.
... hmmm.... *sigh* freshman.

Not that drinking is the worst thing on earth, or a overlooked sin.
Not that everyone who is wasted is hurting but something about these two freshman made me open my eyes... again.

God didn't put me here for classes.
He didn't put me here to network the way I always do.
Well... maybe he did.
He has always given me a blessing on those two things...
but not this year...
I am meant for prayer. I feel it.
When I started this blog on Sunday night God touched me.
I prayed on Monday morning for the new students.
I woke up again early to pray for them.

It's behind the scenes work but God knows I need that.
I have had my glory.
I need to get unnoticed.
I need to stick to this.
They need me.
I am a warrior for them.
Whether they know it or not.
God is going to change their lives.

Update.

Mercy Ministries called me today.
I will hear back on September 11th with an official answer.
What a weird day to pick.
I truly appreciate everyone's encouragement and prayers thus far.
... I'll update once I can.

Alone at Night

When its just you.. alone in the darkness of your own bedroom... what is it that is on your mind? What do you sincerely cry over? What is it that makes you smile to yourself? Who either romantically or not would you want lying next to you? What are scared of? What can't you get yourself from thinking about over and over again?


Here are my thoughts:

• I think it was easier before I learned how to dream. And dream big at that.
• How much longer will I be able to walk around with a stuffed animal and whine in my own home?
• What happened to carefree dating?
• I think every summer gets better.
• I want to grow up.... nope. Never mind.
• I feel like I am two totally different people from home & school because at school I run that shit at home I am only a child.
• I am very proud of myself with what I have accomplished at Brockport. I think I will always be proud of myself.
• I feel really peaceful.
• I am ready to move on. expect great things.
• ..but where is my heart really?
• Earlier I could not even pray for Mercy Ministries... is that really my dream?
• Why have I always put friends before family?
• How does he play mind tricks so well????
• What if I fail and never accomplished what I promised you I would?
• Life has been really good to me and I have sworn off this whole two lives thing. F* that. I am Kerri Phillips. Loud attention seeking love me some Jesus and Ryan Patrick. End of story.
• When I lie down to sleep at night I always feel like God's going to pull out this big yellow pad ad say "Well today Kerri you..." but he never does. He gently lays my head down and whispers, "Rest my child. Tomorrows a new day."
• Looking around my room at all my little trinkets I know that if I made the transition from high-school to college I can def. do college to real life.
• Im one of those girls who adults say I have a good head on my shoulders and I believe that... I can do this. With the book smarts form my father, street from my mother, and the wisdom I am learning daily from my Lord and Savior, Im gonna be alright. As Carrie Underwood would say "Heres a map & bible if you ever lose your way..."
• I believe we should all take lessons from everyone we meet. I think of it as searching for gold. A lot fo sand will fall through the holes but the peices of gold that are left behind hold such an uncomparble shimmer.
• You have to find your own balance.
• College is the time to let life & God flip your idea of this world and shake your plans to pieces.
• You have to stick up for yourself. Believe in God and his love but also yourself and the choices you make in this heartbroken world.
• ...You can only do so much... you can't.... can not save them all.
• My bliss = glass of sweet red wine. country music. bible. I know what I want...its just waiting for it now.
• Now that my dreams are set I can not imagine anything else.
• I made it really far here. So did a lot of Deltas. I am really gonna miss this.
• I never knew being on top would really feel so good.
• I need to keep focused on the young hurting women. I feel like I have abandoned them...like she did me. I lost my confidence because the Christian Culture challenged me. ... was it me? I mean I know I am wrong.. but..ugghhh.
• This bed is not as comfortable as last years.. =/
  
• Final thought of the night: I need to get some sleep
  

What a cute wedding!

The Knot

It's a carnival themed wedding!
Don;t ask why I was looking.... ;)

Finding yourself in a Country Song

I love sleeping in on Saturdays
And I love college football games
I love not acting my age
And good barbecue

Yea I'm a fan of Faulkner books Max Lucado Books
And anything my mama I don't cook
Small mouthed bass After church chit-chat has got me hooked on Sunday afternoons

Yes I love good cold beer ice tea
And mustard on my fries
I love a good loud honky tonky rock song Friday nights
And hell yes I love my truck Chevy
but I want you to know
Honey I love your love the most

Man I love how Redman ice cream tastes
Dam I love my Nascar race
Any song sung by George Strait Kenny Chesney is country at it's best
Yes I love good cold beer Root Beer Float
And mustard on my fries
I love a good loud honky tonky Tag's retro on Friday Thursday nights

And hell yes I love mytruck Chevy
but I want you to know
Honey I love your love the most

I love scuffed up cowboy boots reebox sneaks
And broken torn up jeans skirts
My 4-wheel drive and 8 point bucks Pretending your fast driving scares me
And rocky road ice cream

And hell yes I love my dog Ipod Touch
And Jack D Lime in my Coke
But honey I love your love
Yea I love your love
I love your love the most
I love your love the most

-Originally by Eric Church "I Love Your Love the Most"



I'm for wildflowers in the window
Mechanics you can trust
I'm for crackers in my chili
And leavin' grudges in the dust

I'm for drive thru order takers
Who can muster up a smile
I'm for *Kirsten* takin' in that stray dog
That's been hangin' 'round for awhile

I'm for turning off the TV
Gettin' off the internet
I'm for learning all the words
To the Gettysburg Address The Good Book

I'm for dusty pawn shop guitars beat up picnic baskets
And boxers Old Navy Flip Flips passed their prime
I'm for soakin' up the wisdom
When an old man speaks his mind.

I'm for laid off factory workers
When the wolf Devil is at the door
You don't have to guess what I'm against
If you know what I'm for

I'm for Texas Margaritas
Gettin' outta debt
I'm for havin' faith in something
That hasn't happened yet

For the shy kid in the corner
Afraid to ask the girl to dance
For the ex-con outta prison
Who just wants a second chance

For the inner city teacher
With her heart stuck in her throat
Can still see God in every child
And never gives up hope

I'm for dusty pawn shop guitars sales
And boxers One Hit wonders passed their prime
I'm for soakin' up the wisdom
When an My old man speaks his mind

I'm for Detroit factory workers
When the wolf Devil is at the door
You don't have to guess what I'm against
If you know what I'm for

I'm counting all my blessings
When the wolf Devil is at my door
You don't have to ask what I'm against
You don't have to guess what I'm against
You know what I'm for

-Originally by Pat Green "What I'm For"