behind the: Love

Every song you love, every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breathe in order to win your heart. God's version of flowers and chocolate and candlelight dinners come in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion.
                                   -Stasi Eldridge, Captivating

In high school all I wanted was to be homecoming queen and captain of the cheerleading squad. I did everything I could to earn those titles and I absolutely adored those years of my life. When it was time to go off to college I just decided one morning to be a daughter of God. There is no doubt in my mind someone was sending up some serious prayers for my salvation, with a change of heart like that.
It did not take long for a local church to take me under their wings and disciple me. As with every college freshman it was a funny year trying to figure who I was and what my own values were going to be. Lord knows we learn more about ourselves in college then we do about our degrees. As a youngster and a newbie to Christ I had a lot to learn.
The biggest change in my heart happened in April 2007. At the time I had a boyfriend whom I had just received a diamond ring from. I longed for this ring; I begged for this ring; I worshiped this ring. During the conference I was singing “Your Grace is enough, your Grace is enough for me….” and I froze. I looked up at my raised hands and I began to feel sick to my stomach. The ring no longer represented love and security but greed and sin. Right then I had learned the difference between being in the world and of it.
As you will notice my postings begin in October 2008 about 7 months after that life changing moment. It has been an awesome expereince to capture highlights of life and walk with God on this blog. I am not sure exactly why I began to write, but I know by that same December my heart was sure that this blog would aid me in my calling. God has made it very clear since April 2008 that I am meant to work with young wounded woman, which without His guidance I may have never discovered as my true passion. 
When I discovered the blessing upon this calling, my confidence began to rest upon doing my best for those young women. However, still to this day the Lord continues to teach me that He loves me for me, not for what I do and what I can't do- but simply for me. 
You'll see that I write a lot about two particular organizations, both of which I had the chance to intern at during my Undergraduate and Graduate Social Work degrees. First was, Mercy Ministries, a residential facility for young women ages 13-28 struggling with anything from unplanned pregnancy, eating disorders, suicide idealization, or past abuse. At this ministry, these girls are literally saved, healed, and transformed by God. It is indescribable, you have to check it out. Currently I am the Mentor Liaison at Successful Pathways a ministry of Youth for Christ that's mission is to aid inner city teenagers who are either parenting, expecting, or at risk for early parenting in their process of moving from dependence to independence. Again, an amazing place that I cannot get enough of.
 However, I do not want to fool you. My life does not always consist of religious outings and spiritual conversations. As my postings will attest, I am a busy-body. I don't know how to sit still and I am known as not only the life of the party, but the one who planned it. I enjoy celebrating everything and my favorite hide out places are coffee shops. I am known as an overachiever, but I believe I know my limits. I like to do all I can for everyone else and let the Lord take care of my at the end of the day, as I know He takes pleasure in my obedience.
I believe that God is more than just blesser of righteousness though, He is a Father, a romancer, a lover, a comforter, the creator and when I let him- my best friend. I believe since He is the one who created us, He knows us better than we know ourselves and He delights in our uniqueness.
As for the blog, I'll admit-- I am addicted to it. Sometimes I think it is the only place my ramblings make sense. I love being able to capture those sweet moments I have in the Lord and being able to share them as testimonies. I also thoroughly enjoy exposing my insecurities so others who can relate do not feel isolated and unworthy. And as the title can attest, I will always write about love. Sometimes it's with God, sometimes with significant others, and a lot of the time with past memories. Ironically, I also post about things I do not love, like bad Mondays and family disappointments.
All in all, I guess I could say that my life consists of daily reminders that we do not battle flesh and blood but against spirits and principalities of evil. I want to stand firm in my confidence that the Lord always supplies, listens and loves. With this blog and my future career, I want to inspire others to know the same joy and rest I have found by making the choice to submit to God’s will, forgive daily and fall in love with our creator.
Following God is definitely a daily choice and we all fail constantly, but I like to think that characteristic alone is what ties us all together and keeps us reaching for Him. The good news is I know He is a God of love and He wants nothing more than to be able to love you and for you to love Him and his children rightly; because as I am sure you already know, above all else: Love.  

Enjoy the posts and do not hesitate to contact me: Kerri.m.Phillips@gmail.com