Thursday, August 27, 2009

Update.


Mercy Ministries called me today.
I will hear back on September 11th with an official answer.
What a weird day to pick.
I truly appreciate everyone's encouragement and prayers thus far.
... I'll update once I can.





Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Alone at Night

When its just you.. alone in the darkness of your own bedroom... what is it that is on your mind? What do you sincerely cry over? What is it that makes you smile to yourself? Who either romantically or not would you want lying next to you? What are scared of? What can't you get yourself from thinking about over and over again?


Here are my thoughts:

  • I think it was easier before I learned how to dream. And dream big at that.
  • How much longer will I be able to walk around with a stuffed animal and whine in my own home?
  • What happened to carefree dating?
  • I think every summer gets better.
  • I want to grow up.... nope. Never mind.
  • I feel like I am two totally different people from home & school because at school I run that shit at home I am only a child.
  • I am very proud of myself with what I have accomplished at Brockport. I think I will always be proud of myself.
  • I feel really peaceful.
  • I am ready to move on. expect great things.
  • ..but where is my heart really?
  • Earlier I could not even pray for Mercy Ministries... is that really my dream?
  • Why have I always put friends before family?
  • How does he play mind tricks so well????
  • What if I fail and never accomplished what I promised you I would?
  • Life has been really good to me and I have sworn off this whole two lives thing. F* that. I am Kerri Phillips. Loud attention seeking love me some Jesus and Ryan Patrick. End of story.
  • When I lie down to sleep at night I always feel like God's going to pull out this big yellow pad ad say "Well today Kerri you..." but he never does. He gently lays my head down and whispers, "Rest my child. Tomorrows a new day."
  • Looking around my room at all my little trinkets I know that if I made the transition from high-school to college I can def. do college to real life.
  • Im one of those girls who adults say I have a good head on my shoulders and I believe that... I can do this. With the book smarts form my father, street from my mother, and the wisdom I am learning daily from my Lord and Savior, Im gonna be alright. As Carrie Underwood would say "Heres a map & bible if you ever lose your way..."
  • I believe we should all take lessons from everyone we meet. I think of it as searching for gold. A lot fo sand will fall through the holes but the peices of gold that are left behind hold such an uncomparble shimmer.
  • You have to find your own balance.
  • College is the time to let life & God flip your idea of this world and shake your plans to pieces.
  • You have to stick up for yourself. Believe in God and his love but also yourself and the choices you make in this heartbroken world.
  • ...You can only do so much... you can't.... can not save them all.
  • My bliss = glass of sweet red wine. country music. bible. I know what I want...its just waiting for it now.
  • Now that my dreams are set I can not imagine anything else.
  • I made it really far here. So did a lot of Deltas. I am really gonna miss this.
  • I never knew being on top would really feel so good.
  • I need to keep focused on the young hurting women. I feel like I have abandoned them...like she did me. I lost my confidence because the Christian Culture challenged me. ... was it me? I mean I know I am wrong.. but..ugghhh.
  • This bed is not as comfortable as last years.. =/
  • Final thought of the night: I need to get some sleep

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

What a cute wedding!

The Knot

It's a carnival themed wedding!
Don;t ask why I was looking.... ;)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Finding yourself in a Country Song

I love sleeping in on Saturdays
And I love college football games
I love not acting my age
And good barbecue

Yea I'm a fan of Faulkner books Max Lucado Books
And anything my mama I don't cook
Small mouthed bass After church chit-chat has got me hooked on Sunday afternoons

Yes I love good cold beer ice tea
And mustard on my fries
I love a good loud honky tonky rock song Friday nights
And hell yes I love my truck Chevy
but I want you to know
Honey I love your love the most

Man I love how Redman ice cream tastes
Dam I love my Nascar race
Any song sung by George Strait Kenny Chesney is country at it's best
Yes I love good cold beer Root Beer Float
And mustard on my fries
I love a good loud honky tonky Tag's retro on Friday Thursday nights

And hell yes I love mytruck Chevy
but I want you to know
Honey I love your love the most

I love scuffed up cowboy boots reebox sneaks
And broken torn up jeans skirts
My 4-wheel drive and 8 point bucks Pretending your fast driving scares me
And rocky road ice cream

And hell yes I love my dog Ipod Touch
And Jack D Lime in my Coke
But honey I love your love
Yea I love your love
I love your love the most
I love your love the most

-Originally by Eric Church "I Love Your Love the Most"




I'm for wildflowers in the window
Mechanics you can trust
I'm for crackers in my chili
And leavin' grudges in the dust

I'm for drive thru order takers
Who can muster up a smile
I'm for *Kirsten* takin' in that stray dog
That's been hangin' 'round for awhile


I'm for turning off the TV
Gettin' off the internet
I'm for learning all the words
To the Gettysburg Address The Good Book

I'm for dusty pawn shop guitars beat up picnic baskets
And boxers Old Navy Flip Flips passed their prime
I'm for soakin' up the wisdom
When an old man speaks his mind.

I'm for laid off factory workers
When the wolf Devil is at the door
You don't have to guess what I'm against
If you know what I'm for

I'm for Texas Margaritas
Gettin' outta debt
I'm for havin' faith in something
That hasn't happened yet

For the shy kid in the corner
Afraid to ask the girl to dance
For the ex-con outta prison
Who just wants a second chance

For the inner city teacher
With her heart stuck in her throat
Can still see God in every child
And never gives up hope

I'm for dusty pawn shop guitars sales
And boxers One Hit wonders passed their prime
I'm for soakin' up the wisdom
When an My old man speaks his mind

I'm for Detroit factory workers
When the wolf Devil is at the door
You don't have to guess what I'm against
If you know what I'm for

I'm counting all my blessings
When the wolf Devil is at my door
You don't have to ask what I'm against
You don't have to guess what I'm against
You know what I'm for

-Originally by Pat Green "What I'm For"

Monday, July 20, 2009

If we sat down for coffee..

If I was given a chance to sit down with *her*, like over coffee or something one afternoon and she allowed me to share some advice with her, I'm pretty sure this is what I would say:

If you give someone a reason to doubt you, they will. Stand firm even when you and everyone else around you thinks your going to fall.

Be confident in all situations.

:::People are not drawn to those who succeed, but those who believe they can:::: When you pass someone you know but you are not sure if they remember you, wave anyway because most likely they are hoping you will wave first. -_-Don't ever lower your standards for someone, let them sUpRIsE you. Most of the time all they need is for someone to believe in them, unconditionally-_- Curse laziness the moment you feel it, nothing good will ever come of it. However, if you don't allow yourself some de-stress time, you will only be stressing everyone else out in the meantime.

***Very Important: Girls only act they way they do because we are all insecure.

Learn to love yourself first and they'll come around.***

Never allow yourself to be surrounded by only people who bring you

d

o

w

n.

It may take some work and hardship but you can find other friends. Dating really is o.v.e.r.r.a.t.e.d, but it's okay if you don't take this advice because either did I. With that, I realize that you'll pretend to not really listen to any of this advice, but at least you know I care enough to say it to you... and I hope you never forget that.

You, as a Daughter of God will always be cared for, so allow those who want to love you to do so.

Don't be afraid to ask for help or feel like your not good enough to be helped, the world is full of compassionate people, allow them to bless you. Give yourself time to hurt in difficult situations but never lose sight that serving God is the ultimate goal in life. Although it is very difficult to believe when you are young, love is a commitment ---not a feeling---.

Try to enjoy everything you do. Go outside. Go to school events.

Be active in the community.

A positive spirit and a smile will get you places.

And you know how they say you never know who your boss will be soemday... believe it. Krama might not be real but God does have quite the s.e.n.s.e. o.f h.u.m.o.r. So respect everyone! Especially your parents. Give even more love than you have evern felt you were given.

And I guess to end with, If you'll allow me, I'd like to quote someone else's advice that my mother shared with me (but don't worry I won't sing it to you because I'm not that good, but that doesn't mean I don't bust out a few tunes now and then on my own...)

"I hope you never fear those mountains
in the distance
Never settle for the path of
least resistance Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But
it's worth making Don't let some hell bent
heart Leave you bitter When you come
close to selling out Reconsider Give
the heavens above More than just a passing
glance And when you get the
choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance"

I hope you know that I love you and believe in you, but even more so- so does God. So do us a favor... try to figure out why we love you so much, why we adore you, how much potential we see. Once you figure it out, you will ahve no problem following any of this advice.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Summer Values

I am and always have been one of the most determined people I know. I set my eyes to something and I work my darndest to get it. This summer I have dedicated myself to four things:


  1. Spend quality time with my Mother
  2. Learn Scripture
  3. Not lose my temper and spread love to my challenging student
  4. Win the weight contest I have with my grandpa

The hardest thus far is my student... a very misdirected and sloth like student. But even more so he is very comedic, loving, compassionate and a child of God. He may not knwo about this qualities but he will by the end of the summer, because I am determined.